Meeting him the first time, disguised
Mmm, well, you look reasonably sane.
I am a knight of Catarina.
I've managed to track down this cathedral's store of treasure.
It's right over there, across that narrow part.
Treasure… hmmm. Always so close, yet so far…
I'm in quite a pickle, indeed…
Hmm… Hmm…
When talked to again
Just hold your horses a moment.
I know, I know, treasure is so sorely tempting…
Hmm… Hmm…
When falling into his first trap
Shame on you, you insatiable wench/greedy guts/rotten cleric/rotten nun.
Thought you could outwit an onion?
Well, say hello to the nice giant! He adores visitors.
Laughs
If the player has already killed the giants
Huh? Where's the old giant?
What! Where's the bloody giant?
Just what have you done?!
How dare you! Have you no shame!
Damn! Damn! Damn and damn!
Talking to him after falling for his trap, in the Cathedral of the Deep
Oh yes, oh, hello. I don't believe we've met.
I'm Patches. Unbreakable Patches.
You seem to be Unkindled.
Do you have business with me?
Selecting "You know who I am"
Ah, oh, yes, of course… It's coming back to me, now.
Oh I am so sorry. That was my hand, as you know, but the deed, well, that was the armour's doing.
Regrettable, truly. But behold. I'm stripped clean of that unruly attire.
And look at you, not a scratch!
All's well that ends well, right?
Yes, we'll be fine, I can tell, it's that rotten curse, it is, the untidy mess. (Gives the player the "Prostration" gesture)
Oh, ahh, yes, now, it wasn't me, but you still deserve an apology.
Just a little trinket. Go ahead, it's yours now. (Gives the player a Rusted Coin)
[Laughs]
You should know, I'm a kind of traveling merchant.
If you're as Unkindled as you look, you'll find plenty of good stuff.
Selecting "No"
Of course not. We have just met, afterall.
Sorry, I've been a bit on edge. Forget I even asked. [Laughs]
Ah, but this is your lucky day. I happen to be a world-renowned traveling merchant.
If you're as Unkindled as you look, you'll find many a useful thing here.
Ohh, yes, yes, but what can I do? Can't resist it, can you? My sumptious selection.
Thanks, good com'. / Thanks, sweetie.
Leaving without buying anything
Can't find anything you like? Oh, you could try looking a little harder.
Now just wait, that's the best you can do?
Bloody hell! Keep those purse strings nice and tight.
So tight, they choke you!
When he locks the player in the Firelink Tower.
Sorry, friend.
Be more careful! By the gods, curiosity is going to kill you kittens.
Some places are better left alone, you know.
Oh, sorry, am I a tad too late? [Laughs]
If the player is male/a cleric
Have no fear, there's beauty in death.
Besides, you're surrounded by ladies. Every man's/rotten cleric's dream, right?
[Laughs]
If the player is female
Have no fear, there's beauty in death.
Besides, you're amongst your own, plenty of company, right?
Oh, no matter, I'll look after things.
By stripping every last trinket of your corpse.
You're going to make some lucky customer very happy!
After escaping the tower (Dying/escaping will still trigger this dialogue)
Ah, oh, you, you're alive…
Now, hold your horses, let's have a nice talk about this.
I'll come clean, I did you wrong. I didn't mean it, though, not one bit.
You get these…urges…running the business and all…Oh, and I hate myself for it, I do.
You know what I mean? Terrible, really. But I can see you'll forgive me.
You're alive, after all, and that's what counts, right?
Choosing "Forgive him"
Oh, fantastic! A wily second chance!
I knew you'd understand, I just knew it.
The heart of a lion. A model for the rest of us. A true friend, forever.
Choosing "Do not forgive him"
Oh, for heaven's sake, no need to jest with a face like that.
You're still alive, and I'm here grovelling in the dirt, so to speak.
Oh, I know! Here, a token of my sincerety. Right and proper, eh? (Gives the player a Rusted Gold Coin)
We're just a couple of outcasts, let's make the best of it!
[Laughs] (Gives the player the "Prostration" gesture if you didn't get it from the previous encounter)
Leaving
Thanks, good compeer/ Thanks, sweetie
Greeting
Oh, yes, yes, what can I do?
Aren't you glad we made good of things?
Welcome to Patches' boutique of wonders.
Using the "Talk" function while Greirat is at Firelink.
Ahh, I see you've met Greirat.
The slinking rodent. But he did me a good turn back in Lothric Dungeon.
Doubtless I should do something about that little debt, or…maybe not.
Well, I can hardly believe he's still standing.
After sending Greirat out to scavenge
Hey, what happened to Greirat, anyhow?
I haven't seen him at all lately.
If you know where he's scurried off to, be sure and tell me.
I need to stock up, and if he's gone and croaked, he'll have left a gold mine.
Choosing "Tell" (Irithyll scavenging)
What? Gone all the way to Irithyll, has he?
Can't be much left from that frozen sprawl.
Oh, the old rat, he's gone off the deep end this time.
Choosing Tell (Lothric Castle scavenging)
Hm, off to Lothric? The castle of no return?
That old thief's lost it if he thinks he has a chance in there.
It's not like he's new to this game. What's got into him?
That old thief. He's really lost it this time.
Choosing "Don't tell"
Right, yes, I see how it is.
Some things can't be divulged. Even between friends.
It comes with the territory, I know.
But if you happen to recall any details, do be a saint.
Do it for Patch's boutique of wonders, at least.
Returning to tell Patches
Well? Happened to recall anything important?
About where that old rat scurried off to.
If Greirat has been sent to Irithyll
What? Gone all the way to Irithyll, has he?
Well, there can't be much left of that frozen sprawl.
The old rat, he's gone off the deep end this time…
If Greirat has been sent to Lothric Castle
Hmph, Off to Lothric, the castle of now return…
That old thief's lost it if he thinks he has a chance in there.
It's not like he's new to this game, what's gotten into him?
That old thief, he's really lost it this time…
If the player told Patches Greirat went to Lothric Castle
Well, look at you. You're the luckiest man/lass in the world.
I just got hold of some truly fine treasure. And for you, I'll practically give it away.
What do you say? Brilliant stuff, eh?
I won't ask for thanks, but I certainly deserve it.
Attacked but not made hostile
Eh, calm down, please!
Forgive me! I'm on my hands and knees!
All's well that ends well, right?
Oh, come on! You know it's true!
What's happened, friend?
Stop this. Stop this at once!
Attacked and made hostile
Damn you heartless good-for-nothing oaf/heartless little harlot!
Well, now it's my turn! I'm Unbreakable Patches!
Nobody can crack me!
Rot in hell!
Gods' spit, I knew something was wrong.
Now it's my turn. I'm Unbreakable Patches!
Nobody can crack me!
Rot in hell!
Dying
Gods' spit, just my bloody luck.
What did I ever do anyway?
Gods' spit, piss and blood, why me? Why me?
Killing the player
Cough 'em up, every last one of them.
Confess your sins.